today i turn 36.. emm, getting older liao..
for most of my friends at the same age with me, some are married with kids.. some are married, divorced, and remarried.. some are having new girlfriends every week although have married with kids.. some are getting new cars every year.. some appears on magazines and TV all the time.. some keep opening new accounts in various banks.. some are keep asking me “when are you going to get married..??” emmm, obviously, this is a tricky question and yet a questionable question.. tiada awek macam mana nak kahwin..?? (no GF how to married..??)
for the past 35 years i have gone through all my lonely birthday.. this year also no exception.. 😥
for my 36th birthday today.. no icing cake.. no candles.. no birthday cards.. no birthday party.. no birthday song.. no birthday wishes.. no birthday surprise (emm, for example, a pretty girl with rabbit ears jumping up from a big present box.. :p).. sadly i have to google to get this birthday cake picture to console myself..
yeah, happy birthday simon..!! :) emmm, syok sendiri je.. :p
emm, what do i have at the age of 36..?? a Honda kapcai motorbike, a bank account book which the figures never get increase, huge debt for my previous study loan, 3 bachelor degrees, 1 master degree, 2 doctorates degree, with 1 ongoing clinical master degree.. but i am still currently a poor doctor spending most of my time in the hospital with heavy workload looking after the patients.. gaji tak setimpal kerja, macam mana nak kahwin..??
for the past 35 years i had made the same wishes.. but none of them come true.. i still bungkus nasi and eat alone inside my little room.. nobody to share my egg-tarts with.. lie on my own shoulder when i am tired.. sing beautiful songs to the bird, and kokokan ayam mengiringi irama lagu dan suara merdu saya.. share my popcorn with a stranger sitting beside me.. 😥
no matter how, for this year, i am going to make the same wishes again, holding tight my dreams in my heart, patiently awaiting for the presence of “her” into my life..
ya, 1 year, 10 years, 100 years.. i will be right here waiting for you, my angel..